If you are married, there is a good chance that it's not all bliss. You might go through some rough patches with your partner that can be very uncomfortable and debilitating. You might think about seeking marriage counseling but not have the time or the money at the moment. Here are some tips for working through a rough spot with your partner while you wait for marriage counseling to become a reality.
1. Focus on Conflict Management, Not Conflict Resolution
The first thing that you want to do is focus on conflict management, as opposed to conflict resolution. Suppose your partner wants your house to be perfectly clean all the time whereas you could not care less. You have a few options. You can not do any cleaning at all and have your partner do all the cleaning, which will cause your partner to resent you. You could do a lot of the cleaning so that the house is up to the standards of your partner, which will cause you to resent your partner. Or, you could agree on a level of clean that you both think is okay. The first two solutions are not really solutions at all because they make either you or your partner resentful. The last solution is going to make both you and your partner dissatisfied, but reduce the level of resentment that either of you might feel. The last solution allows you to manage the conflict so that neither partner feels as though he or she is being taken advantage of.
2. Increase the Number of Positive Interactions You Have With Your Partner
The next thing that you need to do is focus on increasing the overall number of positive interactions that you have with your partner. This is because marriages where there are more positive interactions than negative are more likely to survive whereas marriages that have more negative interactions than positive are likely to break up. A positive interaction can be anything from smiling at your partner and having him or her smile back at you to going on a fun date night. One way to overall increase the number of positive reactions is to start listening to your partner and taking interest in what he or she is doing. Even if you have to feign it, your interest will make your partner feel more appreciated and increase the chances that he or she will give you the same interest when you are talking about your life.
For more information, talk to a company that specializes in marriage counseling such as Associates For Counseling & Psychotherapy.
Share1 November 2016
When I initially started the therapy process about 10 years ago, I didn't take the time to scout out the right counselor. Instead, I just went to the first counselor that my doctor recommended, and the experience was less than enjoyable. I realized that I might need to do a little research to find the right counselor for me, so I took the time to carefully evaluate my needs and research different clinics in my area. I was able to find an amazing counselor who really seemed to have it under control, and it was incredibly beneficial to see the difference that it made. This blog is all about finding the right counselor.
