Divorce can be a devastating event for everyone involved, but when you consider the children of the marriage you can only imagine how confusing and tragic it can feel for them, particularly the younger ones. Children under the age of 5 are not immune to the negative effects of a divorce, but the way they express their discomfort with the situation is different than that of other ages. Read on for some issues to expect from divorce's youngest victims.
Make Belief: Pretending to play house, fireman, mommy, etc is considered perfectly normal and is a developmental milestone. It the nature of those make-believe stories that might cause a parent to be concerned. Children dealing with one parent who moves out may resort to making stories up about that parent to cope with the stress. Some children will pretend that daddy is just on a work trip and will be back. You can help your child to cope by allowing your child to enact these scenarios, but stay alert to situations where the child is not able to accept reality and insists that their fantasies are real. Children may also show what is bothering them through their artwork and what they say to their little friends, so stay aware and speak to a child psychologist if you and your child need some professional support.
Abandonment: For younger children, the entire idea that their parents could stop loving each other is confusing and terrifying. Children of a certain age reason that if their parents can stop loving each other, what is to stop them from not loving them?. Children who fear being forced to leave or who are afraid of losing their parents will often show clingy behavior where they previously had no issues, such as when being left at daycare. Dealing with this takes time, and both parents need to reassure the child that they will always be loved and cared for by both parents, no matter what. Spend more time with the child and never allow too many days to go by without connecting with them, even if only by phone.
Regressing: Some children cope with stress by taking a few steps backward in their maturity level. You might have a child that has been toilet trained for some time suddenly begin needing diapers again. Your kindergartner might begin to speak in baby talk or thumb sucking could resurface or increase. These are usually just temporary regressions, but take action if things don't improve.
Dealing with these issues: The best way to care for your child results from taking the best care of yourself, and that means getting the help and support you need to get through the divorce. Speak to your therapist or mental health hospital about making divorce a less contentious and less stressful experience.
Share26 February 2018
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