An affair can ruin all the trust you have in your partner, putting an almost insurmountable strain on your relationship. If you and your spouse decide that you want to work on your marriage after an affair, it's important to get professional help that allows you both to work through what happened. For the person who committed the affair, being upfront and honest about the whole thing is vital. As far as the one who was cheated on, forgiveness is going to take time. It will be most helpful to think before you make any permanent decisions, taking into consideration the strength of your marriage prior to the affair. When both parties want to give the marriage another try, affair couples recovery counseling can have a big impact.
Forgiveness Will Take Time
The process of forgiveness is not a linear one. There will be days that you think your marriage is close to healed, and others where you aren't sure if you can get over the affair. In order to get beyond the affair, you have to work through it, no matter what side you were on. With the help of a couples therapist, you can learn ways to communicate more effectively and have the space you need to deal with your emotions after an affair.
Tell the Truth From the Beginning
If you have an affair, yet you want to save your marriage, you have to be completely honest from the start. Provide the details your spouse wants, including who you had the affair with, how long it went on, and where. When you only tell part of the truth, the rest is going to come out over time.
Be Accountable for Your Actions
As the cheater, your spouse may hold you highly accountable for awhile. They may want to know where you are and check up on you. If you want to save your marriage, be accountable. You have to build trust back up with your partner in order to work through an affair.
Try Not to Act Impulsively
Whether you uncover an affair or you are caught, try not to act impulsively. While you may want to throw things, scream, or run away, taking a step back can actually help you save your marriage. If you take time to consider what is wrong with your marriage and why an affair occurred, you may be able to reconnect with your spouse through therapy and get back what you once had.
Share22 November 2019
When I initially started the therapy process about 10 years ago, I didn't take the time to scout out the right counselor. Instead, I just went to the first counselor that my doctor recommended, and the experience was less than enjoyable. I realized that I might need to do a little research to find the right counselor for me, so I took the time to carefully evaluate my needs and research different clinics in my area. I was able to find an amazing counselor who really seemed to have it under control, and it was incredibly beneficial to see the difference that it made. This blog is all about finding the right counselor.
